Cinnamon and Smoke
by bluewizard313
Summary: My tears fell silent to them as they stopped talking. I turn around and ran as fast as I could ... I gripped his scarf tighter as I ran. I ran from all our memories and smiles. I ran from the guild. I ran from Erza. I ran from Gray. I ran from everyone. I ran from my past. But mostly, I ran from him. Not a deathfic, just disguised as one.
1. Chapter 1

_heyy guys! Sorry I haven't been on a long time. But I just created this story and my cousin has been pushing me to post this! Don't worry about the other chapters cause im just about done with the last chapter but before I post them I want to edit it and have my cousin read it for me! Well hope you like this story… it's the darkest ive wrote.._

_disclaimer: FAIRY TAIL ISNT MINE T.T AND NIETHER IS THE CHARACTERS_

"..." Talking  
'...' Thinking

I was surrounded by the color of white. I look down and I'm in a white dress. 'My keys! Ohhh Mavis Aquarius is gonna kill me.' I take in my surrounding again. 'Where am I?' I think and I look for a way out. "MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA silly girl, you will never find a way out of here." The voice sent chills down my spine. 'Who is he? What happened? Where's Natsu?' Panic started to spread through my body. I took a big breath and tried to make it look like I was calm. "Who are you?" I ask while looking around.

Suddenly a cloaked figure appeared right in front of me. I took a step back away from him. Fear bubbled up in my chest. I could only see his sick twisted smile. "Well dear," his hand brushed my cheek. I flinched away from him. He chuckled evilly, "I am your worst nightmare." I gulped down the lump in my throat. He reached out to grab me. He had such a dirty smile on his face. He was two inches from touching me when I felt it. My eyes widen a bit and I sucked in a huge breath. 'I know he's here, I can feel it.' "NATSU!" I screamed as loud as I could.

The guys hand dropped and he flinched away from my loud voice. My scream echoed across the white walls. 1 minute passed and not even a peep. Tears sprung from my eyes 'He can't save me every time.' Another wicked smile crept on his face while I could feel the anger roll off of him in waves. "No one will come for you girly. No one will hear your screams." I brought his hand back as to slap me. I close my eyes and wait for the pain. "LUCY!" Natsu charged through the wall. My eyes opened just in time to see Natsu punch the guy in the face.

The guy burst threw the other wall on the other side of the room. He turned to me and grabbed my arms and started looking over them. "He didn't hurt you Luce, did he?" I shook my head no. Tears sprung to my eyes. "I was so scared Natsu. I didn't think I would make it out of it this time." I wrapped my arms around him, shoving my face into his scarf. Natsu hugged me back and replied, "It's ok Luce, I'm here now and I have something for you." I reluctantly let go of him. He had his signature smile on his face and he held up my keys. I silently grabbed my keys back. I was about to thank him when he whipped around. "I thought I knocked your stupid face out." I could feel the tension between the two males, "Prepare to die little boy." Natsu scoffed, "As if, old man." Natsu ran at the guy with his fist in flames.

The battle was coming to an end. I was to the left of the battle. The cloaked figure could barely stand. Natsu had a few scratches but overall he was fine. "You will regret this!" The guy croaked out. Natsu glared at him, "You will regret taking Lucy away from me." A light blush and a smile came on my face. The guy raised his hand, Natsu got in his battle stance ready for the attack. But his next move changed everything. He whipped his head at me with a wicked smile and threw a dagger heading strait for my heart. I was frozen in place, I knew this was it. I couldn't get away in time.

"LUCE!" Natsu screamed. I closed my eyes and waited for death. I heard something hit the floor. 'I am still breathing.. That means..' My eyes snapped open. I looked down at my feet in horror. Natsu laid there with a dagger in his chest. "Natsu!" I screamed in agony as I dropped to my knees. He coughed up blood, "Take care of *cough* Happy for me Luce. Also, can you *cough* *cough* take care of my scarf for me." He coughed some more. Panic, fear, agony all spread threw my body. "Natsu! Don't talk like that! Everything will be ok! I'll get Wendy! She'll heal you and-and everything will be ok." My tears were landing on his chest by now. He shakily reached for my hand. I hurried up and grabbed it. "Smile for me Luce, just one more time." More tears leaked out of me from that sentence. "Natsu... Please... You promised we'd go on more great adventures."

He let go of my hand and rested it on my cheek. I leaned into his hand as he tried to wipe my tears away but couldn't. He smiled his heart warming smile, "You were my greatest adventure Luce." I choked out his name between my sobs. His breaths were getting shallower by the second. I smiled the biggest smile I could as tears ran down my cheeks. "I'll look for Igneel for you and tell him all of the fun stuff we did Natsu... And Natsu... I love you." Natsu's hand went slack before he could answer me. He closed his eyes with a light smile on his face. "Natsu." I cried out. "Natsu... Natsu... Please come back... This is all my fault." I barried my face into his neck and sobbed. Natsu, my best friend, partner, guild mate, the guy I fell in love with is gone.

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Natsu Dragneel was dead

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And it was my fault


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey *sob* sorry *sob* just that was so saaadddd anyways I really hope you guys don't hate me! *cowers in fear* anyways~ lets get on with this sad story!_

_Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL OR NASTU AND LUCY WOULD BE TOGETHER AND JUVIA WOULDN'T BE THAT STALKERISH (BUT I STILL HAVE HER STALK GRAY)_

I finally stopped crying. I lifted my head and looked around for that one guy. He wasn't there, 'I'm pretty sure he's been long gone.' "Open the gate of the lion." I call out. Loke appears, "Are you going to confess your love for me, princess?" He bowed. More tears sprung to my eyes. "Loke." My voice cracked. Loke looked up worriedly, "Princess what's-" his voice stopped at the sight behind me. I looked down in pain. "Go tell the guild that Natsu's" tears leaked out. "That Natsu is... That he's..." I couldn't bring myself to say it. I couldn't accept it.

"Lucy," Loke softly called out, "I'll go tell them right away" He paused, "Do you wish to go with me?" I looked up at him with waterly eyes, "I can't tell them, I can't bring myself to do it." Loke pulled me into a right hugged. I hugged him back and let out my tears again. I don't know how long we stood like that but I finally composed myself enough to stop crying. I let go of him and wiped the remaining tears off my face. "Go." I simply tell him. He nodded his head and disappeared. I turned around to look at Natsu. I walked over to him as his words echoed in my head. _take care of my scarf for me _

I bent down and slowly unwrapped his scarf from him and wrapped it around me. 'Natsu' I think as his scent filled my senses. Cinnamon and smoke, a weird yet calming smell. Tears formed at the corner of my eyes. I hurriedly wiped them away, refusing to cry. 'I must be strong for him." I looked around for no particular reason. I saw a puddle forming wear the pipes broke from the ceiling and started dripping water. I made my way over there and pulled out my key. "Open the gate of the water bearer." I softly called out as I put the key in the puddle. Soon enough the mermaid was before me with a mad look, "Eh?! You DARE call me from a puddle." I looked up at her and her mouth closed before she could say anything else. 'I must look pretty pathetic right now if Aquarius didn't insult me.'

She looked away from me and looked around. I watched her as her eyes widen. I knew she found the... The body as she looked at me then back at that spot. "Lu-" "It was my fault." I interrupted. She didn't say a word to me so I continued. I couldn't stop myself from crying as I told her how Natsu saved me from the guy and his powerful attacks then how he threw the dagger. I told her everything in detail. "Can you tell everyone what happened when they get here... I don't think I can face them." She nodded. I paused for moment, contemplating if I should do it at this time. "Aquarius?" I looked up at her with sorrowful eyes. "Go ahead child." She knew exactly what I wanted. She knew I needed it and I was thankful that she knew.

I walked over to Natsu and laid my head right under his. I didn't care that I was gonna get blood on me. I needed to do this, one last time. Even if it broke my heart by not hearing his own heart beating and his light snoring. "I never thought if miss you and your snoring" I mumbled out. I closed my eyes and just laid there. I didn't sleep but I just laid there pretending I could hear his heart beating and his snoring. Pretending that I'd wake up from this nightmare. Pretending that I couldn't smell his blood and that we weren't on a cold white floor that's now stained red. But that we were in my bed and he snuck into it. 'Cinnamon and smoke' I thought quietly. His aroma was still there, welcoming me into it's embrace. I curled up closer as I waited. Waited for everyone to see me in this pitiful state. Waited for everyone's heart broken stare. Waited for everyone's tears. And lastly, I waited to be alone.

After what felt like a thousand years, I heard the foot steps of everyone. The pain hit me as I heard everyone's collective gasp. Tears threaten to fall as I heard some of the quiet sobs my friends emitted. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I heard a few people walking closer to me. "Lucy." A voice called softly. I tensed up and gripped Natsu's collar tighter. 'Erza' I could feel her watching me carefully, like I would flee at this moment. I felt a soft touch on my shoulder. I jumped slightly at the act. "Lucy." She called again but a bit more stern. 'She's treating me like a scared child. But... I guess that's how I'm acting'

I slowly open my eyes but I don't move away from Natsu. Her face looks hard but I can see in her eyes all the pain and sorrow. "Lucy you need to move." I look away from her. 'She's trying to act strong in front of everyone' My eyes wonder to Aquarius who's talking to Gray at the moment. I can't hear what they're saying but I know. 'Its my fault' I can hear Wendy's muffled cries somewhere behind Erza. "Lucy." Erza said once more. "I can't." I replied. My throat was raw from all the sobbing I did earlier. I heard a pair of footsteps coming closer. I bring my eyes up to see who it is. 'Gray' I simply think. Gray whispers something in Erza's ear. She nods and silently walks over to Aquarius. I made eye contact with Gray. His eyes were hard and I winced at his look.

He turned around and walked away. Levy came over to me and held out her hand. "Lu-chan, please." Levy begged me. I decided I should get up and grabbed her hand. Instantly she pulled me up into a hug. I hugged the shorter girl and tried not to cry. She let me go and told me everything will be ok. 'It won't be' but I didn't voice my thoughts. "Natsu!" I heard Happy's voice in the distance. "Guess what Natsu!" Happy called out. "Carla finally accepted my fish!" Happy finally reached us with a smile on his face. His smiled dropped and tears built up in his eyes. He turned to me with a watery stare, "Lushi?" He called out. Guilt and agony spread through my body.

I gazed down unable to look at the heart broken cat. "Natsu?" Happy called out with hope in his voice. I squeezed my eyes together trying to ignore it all. "Natsu get up, you said we can go fishing with Lucy once you find her." My heart clenched at that sentence. "Natsu, don't go." Happy called out weakly as he shook him lightly. 'I can't take this anymore' I opened my eyes and ran to Happy. I picked him up and hugged him as tight as I could as I cried on his head. "I'm sorry." I whispered to Happy as I felt his hot tears on my shirt. I heard more sobs behind me as I held onto the blue cat as if my life depended on it.

Days passed by since that incident. No one talked to me but it's not like I tried to talk to anyone either. I lost a lot of weight and all I ever came out of my apartment was in some grey sweat pants, and pink shirt (that happened to match his hair color) and his scarf. I walked into the guild in my usual attire and sat down at the bar. The guild was quiet (it's been like that since... Since that day) but today it seemed almost dead silent. *BAM* Gray slammed his hands down on the table. "That's it!" He yelled. I winced at his loud voice as I turned around on my bar stool to look at him. "It's not the same without Natsu here!" Pain shot through my heart as he said his name. "And it's all your fault!" He blamed as he pointed at me. I froze at his statement. "If you didn't get capture he could still be alive! If you weren't so weak he could still be here!" Tears stung at my eyes. "Lastly," he stated darkly "If you never came to this guild he wouldn't have sacrificed himself for you." Tears silently rolled down my face.

I knew everyone was thinking that. I knew it because no one stopped him; they all just sat there and watched. Bangs covered his eyes as he started to shake. Tears hit the floor as I slowly stood up from the barstool. "You're right," I choked out. "It's my fault." I whispered. I wiped my tears away as I walked up to the master's office. I knocked on his door and I heard the master sniffle before he said I could come in. I walked in and saw him sitting behind his desk. Dark circles were under his eyes and his nose was slightly red. "Master." I called out quietly. "Yes my child?" He replied with gentleness in his voice. 'Its my fault' my mind echoed. "I wish to quit Fairy Tail." I said as I wrapped my arms around myself thinking it could protect me from his words. "Lucy, you don't have to-" "Its my fault that... That Na... That he's dead." I couldn't say his name, it was too painful. I pulled his scarf further up my face to hide my pain. "Lucy it's not-" "BUT IT IS MY FAULT!" I yelled as I interrupted him. "ITS MY FAULT THAT NATSU DIED!" My eyes widen as I gripped his scarf tightly. Tears were running down my face by now. I looked down at the ground and told him, "I can't do this anymore, it's too hard."

I heard the master sigh. "Give me your hand Lucy." I reached out my hand with out taking my eyes off of the ground. I felt a tingling sensation on my hand. I looked at it and it was normal again. I weakly smiled at the master, "Thank you." He gave me a small nod and I turned around to leave. I opened his door and right when I was about to close it forever the master called out to me. I stopped mid step to hear what he had to say "Lucy, you are always welcome to come back." I let his words soak in then I left. I ran away from his doors and into the main area. I stopped in the middle and everyone had their eyes on me. I walked out the guild doors and waved to everyone with the back of my hand to show them that the guild mark was no longer there. "Goodbye everyone." I called out softly. I closed the doors and paused as I leaned up against them. I covered my mouth as a sob escaped it. Tears were flowing down my face. I ran as fast as I could to my apartment. Finally I got to my apartment and I threw myself onto my bed. I curled up into a ball and cried. I cried into his scarf as I hugged my knees tighter. 'Cinnamon and smoke... At least his smell never faded away from this' Eventually I cried myself to sleep and luckily for me it was a dreamless sleep. No images of him lying dead were in my head that night.


	3. Chapter 3

_I know I know harsh but please work with me here! Its supposed to be like this. But I promise it will be worth it in the end.. anyways DON'T HATE ME_

_Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN FAIRY TAIL ! IF I DID I WOULD BE LIKE FRICKIN AWESOME WHICH IM NOT!_

I woke up feeling like crap as usual. I groaned into my pillow knowing today was the day that I needed to find a job. It's been 2 weeks since Natsu passed away and 1 week since I quit Fairy Tail. 'I miss everyone' it felt like there was hole where my heart should be. Depression consumed me as I thought about my (ex) guild mates... As I thought about him. I buried my face into his scarf. Tears threaten to fall from my eyes as I played images in my head.

**-flashback-**  
"OI! Lucy!" Natsu yelled. I turned to face him. "Yes Natsu?" I replied to his obnoxious yelling. He ran towards me and grabbed my hand thus making me run with him. "We're going fishing!" He turned around flashing his smile at me. "What if I don't want to go fishing!" I yelled at him as I hit him in the head. He stopped running and looked at me, "I promised Happy we'd go fishing with him." My eyebrow twitched. "YOU DIDNT EVEN ASK ME YOU IDIOT!" I yelled. Natsu smiled at me a shrugged, "Well let's go! We're gonna to be late!" I huffed out in annoyance but I went along with him anyways. In no time we arrive to the lake. Happy was already waiting for us with three fishing poles. "Natsu, Lushi, what took you guys so long?" He asked handing us our fishing poles. Before either of us could answer Happy asked, "Was it cause Lucy is so fat?" "Shut up you dumb cat!" I yelled at him threatening to hit him.

Natsu was just laughing at us. Eventually we all calmed down and started to fish. I looked over at Natsu and Happy and saw how content they looked right now. A warm smile crept onto my face. "Natsu~" Happy said. Natsu turned his head to face the cat. "Lushi is giving us weird looks. She's being a weirdo." Anger shot through my veins. I leaned over Natsu and hit Happy on the head. "Damn cat." I grumbled out. "Lucy is being mean!" Happy complained. Once again Natsu just laughed at us. I hmphed at them and went back to fishing. Not even a few minutes later Happy opened his mouth again. Thinking it was gonna be an insult, I was prepared to hit him again. "Ne Natsu?" Happy called out to him. Natsu looked in Happy's direction and slightly nodded his head to show he was listening. "Don't you think Lucy is like my mom now?" Happy asked Natsu as if I wasn't there.

"Eh?!" I yelled almost losing my grip on the fishing pole. Natsu chuckled and replied, "Yea Happy, she is like your mom. She looks out for you and makes sure she has fish in her fridge." Happy nodded, "She takes care of you too, we're like a family. You're the dad, Lucy is the mom and I'm the son." My jaw dropped. Natsu nodded in agreement. Happy eyes lit up and he turned to me. "Lucy! Can you and Natsu have kids so I can play with them!" He asked hopefully. Heat shot up to my face at the implication. "Me... And... Natsu? But we're not- it's not- I mean, Natsu probably wouldn't even-" "I would." Natsu interrupted. More heat shot up to my face. He leaned closer to me and asked, "So how bout it Lucy?" "N-N-N-Na-Natsu?" I was tempted to say yes. But then Natsu broke out into laughter. "Happy! Did you see her face?" "You lllllllliiikkkeeee him." Happy called out. Heat crawled to my ears and neck. "No I don't!" I whipped my head back to the water. "Baka." I whispered.

**-present-**  
Tears dripped on my pillow as I held it tightly. 'I want him back, it should've been me' "Natsu." I called out weakly. I got up quickly and threw on my sweats and shirt and ran out my door. It was warm outside but it didn't matter to me. Even though the outside was warm, my insides were cold. My heart was cold ever since my warm... My Natsu died. I stopped running and let my feet carry me to whatever. 'Tomorrow' I promised myself 'Tomorrow I'll get a job' I look up to see where I ended and my eyes widen. There was a little sign that said "Natsu's and Happy's house" I knew I shouldn't go in there. I knew I shouldn't be opening up his door right now. Yet I couldn't stop myself. I expected Happy to be in the house but he wasn't.

'He must be at the guild' pain stabbed me in the heart. I walked over to Natsu's hammock and ran my hand over the material. I looked up and saw all the request on his board. I saw all his sticky notes on every single paper. "First time me and Luce danced." I read that sticky note and lost it. I dropped to my knees and put my arms and head on his hammock. Sobs wracked through my body. "I'm trying." I say through my tears. "It's too hard Natsu. I can't keep living like this. It should've been me!" I crawled into his hammock. His faint scent on it comforted me a bit while at the same time broke me even more. Like almost every night, I cried myself to sleep again.


	4. Chapter 4

_IMMMMM BACCCCKKKKKKK lol so like im sorry my ch aren't long im doing this all off of my phone so I think theyre long enough on my phone but im not gonna change it _

'Where am I?' I look around and realized where I was. My vision became blurry. I took a deep breath and blinked away my tears. 'I need to get a job' finally I got out of his hammock and walked to town. Luckily for me there was a bar that had a help wanted sign. I walked in and asked the bar tender where I sign up for the job. She gave me directions to the managers office and I walked there. I got lost in my thoughts. 'I wonder what Natsu would think of me if he was still alive... If he was still alive I wouldn't be in this position' before I could think of anything else I saw a door with the word "manager" on it. I walked over to it and knocked. "Come in." A female voice said. I took a deep breath and walked in.

My eyes widen in surprised a bit. 'Dang, she's around my age!' This girl had wavy orange hair that stopped about her lower back. She had on a bikini top with some shorts. The weirdest thing she had on though was a straw hat. I blinked a few times then remembered why I was here. "Oh, I'm Lucy and I'd like to apply for the job Ms...?" She smiled at me and replied, "Nami, call me Nami." I nodded my head. "Well um... Nami.. About the job, I really need it and-" Nami held up her hand. She looked me over and smiled. "Do you mind being a waitress?" She asked. Hope bubbled in my chest, "No I don't mind at all." Her smile grew. "Alright, then you got the job. You can pick your own hours on one condition." My heart sunk. "You have to wear this."

She pulled out the outfit and handed it to me. It was a black leather corset that would hug my curves in every way. Also there's black gloves that reach to my elbow and fishnet tights that stopped at my thigh. I gulped a bit knowing I would get hungry stares if I wore that. 'I need the money though plus I can pick when I work' I sighed and took the outfit. "Oh and one more thing." I looked at her with dread. "You can't wear the scarf." She reached out to grab it, "I'll hold on to it if-" "No!" I screamed and took a step away from her. My hands shot up to the scarf in fear she would take it away from me. She slowly put her hand down and gave me a perplexed look. "Will you take that off for the job?" She asked lightly. I shook my head to answer her question and to try to shake off my tears. His voice came into my head. _T__ake care of my scarf for me. _

"I understand if you don't want to give me the job anymore." I looked down sadly. "Someone special?" I looked up with wide eyes to see her holding the straw hat in her hands while giving it a lovingly gaze. Emptiness filled me, "He died." I looked away, I couldn't face her pitied look. "Protecting you?" She softly asked. My eyes widen as I looked at her. 'How did she know?' "Where you there?" I asked her. She shook her head and replied, "No but I have someone who's like that." She paused as if debating to tell me something. "He gave me this hat. Not per monthly of course cause he loves this but every time he's away he just gives me his biggest smile and tells me that with his hat I will never be alone." She laughed, "Even if he's just going to the grocery store." I smiled warmly at her, "It must be nice, to have someone like that." My smiled turned sad.

"It's my fault that Natsu died." I wiped my tears away. I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder, "He did it because he loved you, don't blame yourself." My eyes widen. 'She doesn't understand, he didn't love me, not like that' I harden a bit, "You don't understand." I pushed her hand off my shoulder. "Can I start working right now?" I asked a bit harsh. I heard her sigh and reply, "Go ahead. You can wear the scarf." I quickly nodded and went to the closet bathroom to change.

My shift was almost done. I had to work at least 8 hours. I looked up at the clock 8:50 it read. '10 more minutes then I can go home' As I walked back to the bar some random guy smacked my ass. I had to refrain myself from giving him my Lucy kick. Instead I turned around and politely asked, "Can you not do that sir?" He smiled and asked, "You mean this?" He then grabbed my ass. I was about to hit this guy and tell him off when I heard the bar tender Zoro yelled, "Oi Lucy! you're not done yet!" I huffed and walked about from the disgusting man. '10 more minutes. 10 more minutes. 10 more minutes' I chanted in my head. He pointed to the right behind me and said, "Your last table for the day." I nodded and took my notebook with me. I froze as I looked to see who was sitting there.

'Just my luck' I looked back silently pleading with Zoro. I hoped he would understand and cover for her. Zoro just gave her a pointed look. I sighed realizing I had no other choice. 'Hopefully he won't remember me, he didn't come to the guild very often.' I walked over there with my eyes glued to the floor. "What would you like sir?" I asked him. "I'd like the strongest vodka you got." I nodded my head as if he can see me. I turned around to get away from him as quickly as I could. "Hey wait." He said. I froze in my spot. "Isn't that Natsu's scarf?" He questioned. "Wait a second, I remember you, you're Lucy!" I turned around slowly to face him. He gave me a mischievous smile and asked, "Are you and that boy together now?" My heart sunk. 'He doesn't know'

"Where is that boy anyways, is he here with you?" He looked around for him. I didn't want to tell him. But he had to know, he has the right. 'He was like Natsu's second father. Natsu adored him' Tears fell down my face as I said, "No Natsu isn't here." He looked at me and worry grew on his face. "Are you ok? Did something happen?" I started to shake. Grays voice shouted in my head ~It's your fault!~ I grabbed his scarf, it still smelled like him after all this time. "Natsu... Natsu died." I turned away and ran from him before he could question me. I ran to Zoro and told him with a shaky voice, "Strongest vodka." I took off for the door. "Oi!" Zoro shouted at me. I turned around with a pleading look with my watery eyes. Zoro was about to say something to me but I saw Guildarts coming my way. I hurried up and grabbed my clothes and ran.

I ran as fast as I could. I took ally's and tried to run where things could block me from view. It took me longer to get home but eventually I got there. My landlord was outside waiting for me. "Rents due." She gave me an intense stare. But once she saw my look on my face it softened. I ran past her not saying anything and ran up to my apartment. I fiddled with my keys and eventually I got my door open. I grabbed all the money I needed for rent and put it on my desk. I knew she would silently come and get it. We've done that a few times. I threw myself on my bed and cried.


	5. Chapter 5

_Haha last chapter. I hope the ending wasn't too sappy or anything. I hope you like my story! Have a nice day and BTW I HAVE CHANGED ALL MY PREVIOUS CHAPTERS A BIT, JUST SO YOU GUYS KNOW!_

_Disclaimer: fairy tail aint mine…. *SOBS* I WISH IT WAS… but then again, you guys probably would hate it._

For the next week I stayed in my apartment. I was afraid to go outside in fear of running into Guildarts. 'This is like some cruel cycle. I wake up feeling like crap then I end up crying myself to sleep. I can't take this anymore' I get up from my bed and put on some real clothes and left my apartment. I walked to the lake where me, Natsu and Happy use to go fishing. When I got there i saw something that broke my heart. Juvia and Gray were sitting in mine and Natsu's spots while fishing with Happy. Happy replaced me and Natsu "Gray." Happy called out sadly. "What?" Gray asked. "This doesn't feel the same without Natsu." Gray was silent for a few moments. "It's all Lucy's fault. It should've been her." I sucked in a breath, hurt washed over my senses. "Gray-" Happy called out but Gray interrupted him, "She thinks that by quitting Fairy Tail that I'd let her off the hook. No, that makes me hate her even more." "Gray-sama. Juvia said sadly. "She's no friend of mine or Fairy Tail." Gray angrily said.

My tears fell silent to them as they stopped talking. I turn around and ran as fast as I could. I knew what I had to do, what I was going to do. 'Im done, no more. No more of this, I'm too weak' I ran past the park. I saw a kid with pink hair and my tears came down faster. I ran past the graveyard where he was at. I ran past Natsu's favorite candy shop. I gripped his scarf tighter as I ran. I ran from all our memories and smiles. I ran from the guild. I ran from Erza. I ran from Gray. I ran from everyone. I ran from my past. But mostly, I ran from him. Finally I reached my destination. I sat down and brought my knees to my face and cried. I sat on a cliff that Magnolia had. After crying for a few minutes I got up. 'Its been exactly one month since his death. One month since I killed him. Now, it's my turn' I took a step towards the edge of the cliff.

"Lucy." A voice called out behind me. I turned around to see Loke standing there with a worried look on his face. "Don't do this Lucy." "I'm sorry Loke but I can't live like this anymore." Loke looked mad, "Stop blaming yourself! It's not your fault!" Suddenly my pain turned to anger. "He took the dagger for ME. It IS my fault!" I yelled at him. "You're acting foolish Lucy!" He yelled back at me. His mistake. I looked down and softly said, "I hope you find a good Mage and get taken care of." Before I could change my mind and before he said anything I turned around and took off. "LUCY!" He screamed out as I jumped off the cliff. I felt the wind in my hair as I sped towards the water. I closed my eyes in content. I thought I'd be freaking out by now... But the wind in my hair and the thill of the fall doesn't bother me at all... 'Natsu... I'm coming for you... I hope we meet in the after life'

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My eyes fluttered open. 'Im... Not dead..?'

I slowly take in my surroundings. My eyes landed on someone to my right. Their back was faced towards me and they were searching for something. "Wendy?" I hoarsely called out. Wendy turned around quickly with wide eyes. "Lucy-sama!" She quickly stumbled over to me. "You're alright!" Relief was washing over the small girls face. Confusion swept through me and I looked at her. 'What happened?' All of sudden I remember everything. Natsu dying, me leaving Fairy Tail, me jumping off the cliff. Tears sprung to my eyes.

Tearful eyes widen when my neck felt cold. My hand shot up to my bare neck, 'His scarf!' I sat up quickly, ignoring my sore muscles and started to lift the blankets to look for it. "Lucy-sama?" Wendy questioned. "Where is it?!" I demanded desperately. My eyes scanned the room for any sign of the scarf. 'It has to be here!' I started to pat the bed in hopes I missed it when I lifted the blanket. A flash of pink bought my attention. I looked at my hand and gasped. 'My-my guild mark...' I softly touched the mark on my hand. 'I thought I left the guild and had it removed.' Tears spilled on the bed sheets as I sat in confusion. I looked up into Wendy's concerned eyes. I cradled my hand as I choked out, "I... I thought I left the guild..." Wendy's eyes widen tremendously. "N-no Lucy-sama." Wendy stammered, "You've been here the whole time."

My confusion must've shown on my face cause Wendy continued to talk. "You were captured by this Mage and you didn't have your keys and Natsu came to save you and-" I cut her off, "And Natsu died.. I know." I looked down miserably, tears almost leaking out. "No no no no no no," Wendy waved her hands around wildly, "The guy casted a spell on you while Natsu was fighting him and you passed out-which was a month ago-then Natsu brought you back to the guild and you've been in a coma since then." My eyes widen in disbelief, "Y-you mean it wasn't real? Everything that has happened, it was all fake?" Wendy nodded. 'Natsu is alive.' Was all I could think. Tears spilled out of my eyes at that. Wendy looked panicked as I cried some more. I grabbed the small girl and hugged her tightly. Before Wendy could question me I whispered, "I'm so glad." I squeezed her then I let her go.

"Can I go see Natsu?" I asked. "You really shouldn't get up Lucy-sama, you should get more sleep before you get up. I don't want-" once again I cut the girl off, "Please." I sounded pretty desperate right now but I wanted-needed-to see him. Wendy looked hesitant but she agreed. I stepped out of the bed. My legs wobbled but I grabbed the table next to me. Wendy took a step towards me but I held my hand up as if to say I wanted to do it myself. I was glad that the infirmary wasn't upstairs but it was just in the back. I got to the busiest part of the guild while leaning on the wall heavily for support. I didn't see him first but I heard him. "You wanna go Popsicle?" His voice boomed. My breath caught in my throat as soon as I saw him. I brought my hand to my mouth as more tears fell down my face. "Natsu." I called out softly.

Either he heard me or smelt me or something because he turned in my direction. Worry spread through his features. Gray was just about to punch him but he sped away towards me. I knew why he was worried. I probably looked like a broken mess; leaning heavily against the wall while sobbing. Soon enough he was right in front of me. I choked out his name. I tentatively reached out my hand. My figured brushed his cheek and he had an un readable expression on his face. My hand slid down to his vest and I gripped it tightly. Natsu opened his mouth to say something but I flung myself at him. He stumbled back a few steps at my force but I didn't care. I sobbed into his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around my waist slowly.

"Lucy." Natsu called out slowly. I sobbed harder at the sound of his voice. His voice, his touch, his smell, everything about him was so refreshing. "I thought that I'd never... You were dead Natsu." I told him. My breaths were short and quick as I held onto him fear dear life. I was terrified to let go of him in fear he would leave again and I would never experience this again. "I'm here Lucy, I'm not going anywhere." Natsu told me. Sobs wracked my body as I started to tell him what I went through. "Th-they blamed me f-for your death. I-I left the guild. And and and I.. I..." I couldn't say what I did in the end. Natsu's hands brought me even closer to him and he started to rub my back to clam me down. I had a feeling Natsu knew what I did. I lifted my hand off of his shoulder and looked into his onyx eyes. My hands grubbed his vest even tighter. "It was so terrible." My lip trembled as I held back more sobs.

Natsu's hands left my back and rested on my drenched cheeks. He wiped away the tears escaping my eyes. I closed my eyes praying that this wasn't just a dream. One hand dropped and rested on my hip while the other one pushed some hair behind my ear. Natsu rested his forehead on mine and closed his eyes. "It will be alright Luce, I promise." He whispered. He opened his eyes and stared in mine. Emotions were swimming through his eyes. His hands started to travel once again but both hand similar destinations. His hands grabbed mine and started to untangle them from his vest. Fear shot through my body as I thought that he was gonna push me away. My fear disappeared as soon as he put them around his neck. Both hands dropped to my hips as he pulled me unbelievably close. I realized then that some of the emotions were desperation and love. 'I was in a coma for a month... He probably was afraid too...'

Natsu voiced my thoughts, "I thought you weren't gonna wake up. I was afraid that I was going to lose you... I dont want to lose you Lucy." I wrapped my arms tighter around him bringing him close as humanly possible. Our faces were an inch apart. He brought his face closer, out lips almost touching. "Natsu," I called out quietly. "Hm?" "I love you." He brushed his lips over mine softly. It was like a dam released inside me. Hunger and passion flowed through my veins. I collided our lips together. All the pain, fear, depression that we wer put through over the past month was released in our kiss. But one emotion that stood out over everything was love. Faintly I heard the guild cheer. I was too caught up with Natsu to even be embarrassed. We broke apart gasping for air. I put my head on his chest while a huge smile took over my face. "Oi Lucy," I looked up at Natsu. He also had a huge smile on his face. "I love you too."

I captured him in a kiss again as our guild mates started to party. Natsu broke our kiss and joined in the party. It was going to be a very long time before I get over what had happened. A giggled escapade me as I watched Natsu crash into a table. 'As long as Natsu is with me, I'll be ok.' Natsu ran over to me handing me his scarf. I was going to question him but he disappeared into the crowd. I smiled softly and wrapped it around my neck. 'Cinnamon and smoke, what a wonderful combination.'


End file.
